Not One, or Two, I’m All Three

I’m Positive

Don’t give up 

Keep holding on

If you ever leave

I don’t know what I’ll do

Your times not up

It will all be okay

Just look on the bright side

It’s a brand new day 

I’m negative

You’re too broken

To be fixed

Not good enough

To be kept

Or loved

Or held

when you cry

On the floor

You’re too negative 

Too dark

You let things consume

Until suicide is nye

You hold blades to your wrist

But can’t do the deed

Hold pills in your hand

But numb out 

Instead

Too weak to make true

Your wishes of death

Too strong 

To hold on 

day after day

For some semblance

Of hope

Or a single sun ray

To give life

To give meaning

To the sad soul within

I’m morally grey 

I’m neither sunshine

Or clouds

I’m the foggy in between

The world holds this beauty

That’s been left unseen

By eyes grown accustomed 

To light

Or to dark

In the haze 

Of the light

Overcast 

In Perfection 

Light and dark

Day and night

The difference between

Ambiance

And candle light

“One Day”

​“One Day” 

        is a cruel 

             humorless farce.

There’s no one day

You’re stuck in a torturous hell loop, 

      Producing the same mistakes

Over and over again.

You look for love, 

      For life, 

          For forever,

And end up living 

        in a purgatory 

of your very own design.

You want love,

      You get lessons,

You want acceptance,

           You get distance,

You want inclusion,

                   You end up alone

There’s no such thing as a happy ending,

       Or a happy, healthy home

              Only happy beginnings

        Or tearful endings

 And nothing but shitty timing…

Conversations With You

​

The most adult conversation 
You and I ever had 
Was while you were laying on the floor 
While I laid in our bed 
You looked up and laughed 
Said you couldn’t take me seriously 
Because I slid over the side 
So we could talk eye to eye

The love was still there 
But admiration took a turn 
When our lives became too much 
And turned into two halves 
Of a different whole 
It wasn’t that long ago, 
But something came in between 
Call it sorrow or nightmares 
Or something else entirely

In unison we sighed 
With a realization we couldn’t hide 
Finally it reared its head 
The answer that had been left unsaid 
Maybe it was time 
To stop fighting what was clear 
In difference we should stay 
But maybe it was better off that way 

Because love was still there 
It was admiration that took a turn 
When our lives became too different 
And spiraled into two 
We were no longer each-others halves 
Just a half of another whole 
It wasn’t too long ago 
When something came between 
Our love and our safety 
Or something else entirely

The most adult conversation 
You and I have ever had 
Was you laying on the floor

My arms crossed 
on the side of the bed 
You looked up at me and laughed 
As you explained how weird we were 
When we were once bound 
And now laughing about being no more 
Than friends who used to be lovers 
At midnight on the bedroom floor