Poem: Whiskey and Sunsets

 I tell myself to look:

To look up lyrics of songs

the ones that make you feel

everything all at once.

To look up at the stars 

realizing I’m alive

and whole

and divine.

To look people in the eyes

to catch the light of sunrise 

or

the darkness of sunset.

But I looked up once

And caught his eyes

gazing back at mine

and all I can surmise 

is on the eve of sunset

I watched the sunrise

in whiskey laden eyes. 

Poem: Again?

Again…

Again.

Always again.

Again we strike out the name

Retain the knowledge

Jot down notes

On turned down mental pages

Doggy eared save points

Hopes

Dreams

Ideas of “happiness”

And what that might actually look like.

If, you believed it existed.

Yet, again.

The pen stays poised

Hesitant 

Stunted

Not willing to move

Or try

To conjure up an ounce of “trying”

While denying the pain of starting again.

Over and over again

Again haunts your dreams

Hides in dark corners 

Where doubt grows unfettered.

Again

You whisper 

While checking your phone

The time stamps

And wondering what you did 

This time.

Again

The same song and dance

Again

And again

And

Again…

Again once more

Into the fray

If the promise that again

Will simply 

Go

Away.