Closure

​Closure,

He says,

In my reality, 

I didn't wish for this,

When I speak up,

It's painful,

Almost inconceivable, 

But I do it with heart, 

If I voice my hurt,

It's substantial, 

studied, 

thought on,

It's nothing I would hold against,

But something that tears me up,

So when I spread the doors wide,

I want to save what we have,

When my mind says to take flight,

My heart tells me to fight,

I wage a war between fact,

And the fiction that keeps me safe,

With broken heart shards scraped into a heap,

I hope you hear what I mean as I weep,

Yet in true fashion,

What I meant gets twisted,

Shaped into something else,

And when night falls and lies lay between us,

Heavy like wet shrouds on a line, 

Where once love was made,

Now promises lay broken,

When the voices of others cloud my already unsure portrayal,

And your eyes remain unopened,

I quiet. 

In the stillness of the house, 

The silence that claims space,

With my unquieted sense,

Where do I hide?

If not In my mind,

From the recollections of us,

From the life that we shared,

And the future we prepared,

Now all that stretches out,

Before me like a holiday spread,

No fanfare to be had,

Over this Thanksgiving bread,

But choices that were made,

Sacrifices that were had,

All I end up here, 

Is solitary,

Crying in our bed,

I still.

With choices made,

And words left unsaid,

I'll let you assume,

What you rather instead,

I'll be the villain,

It will be better that way,

Then to tell you I love you,

And devastate your day, 

I'll stay reserved,

It's best to not be in the way, 

From the healing you need to do,

From our parting of way,

Where once you were the best of me,

It's hard to exist where you are not, 

Then to understand who I am,

When you are where you are not. 

But in the end,

I digress,

After all,

I want what will be best.