Poem: What Once Was, Shall Never Be

​You used to brag,

About all the ex-lovers you kept as friends, 

How different you were,

How unbiased you became,

So excuse me if I wither at your words,

And your claim to old flames,

For I sit extinguished,

In everyone else's gaze.

Every pleasant word spoken,

For anothers worth,

And as I sat with you for years, 

All I’m left with is tears,

Of what we used to be,

Of what we could have been,

And now, at the edge of beginning and end,

I teeter between both as I’m want to do,

Stuck in memories of me and you,

So when you say you rather part ways,

Excuse my lack of words,

I begged as much as I could,

To make you see my worth.

Instead, you saw me as a monster,

Waiting for our end,

When in reality, it was the opposite instead.

With open eyes, you saw,

Without truly seeing,

And as I watched you fall,

From the man I thought you to be,

I gathered up the last bit of me,

And slunk away,

Ashamed at how things came to be. 

So excuse me for my tears,

I’m not yet done mourning,

The plans that we were making, 

The old we planned on sharing,

And with clear understanding I sit,

A hollowed out mess of the girl I used to be,

When everyone had a piece,

Once done,

They did away with me,

So, excuse my lack of begging,

I’ve done more than enough of that,

If you can’t give me a little bit of understanding,

Then I can’t fight you on it,

I needed you to see me clearly,

But in a fog, you fought the wrong fight,

When I showed you my inner demons,

You made up new ones for me to fight,

Instead of being there,

You left me alone at night,

And in my heart of hearts,

I started to see no light.

So excuse me, my grief,

For I’ve never been here before,

When I thought we would be forever,

It meant I’d be watching you leave through that door,

Of a home we began to make,

In easier of times,

In the days we had hoped for,

But now we’ve parted ways,

And even as I sit,

The memories that were made,

In my head, I think back,

On the lovers, you made friends,

And how even as darkness looms,

A part of me still craves, 

For the man you were back then,

The one who bragged about your difference,

And how unbiased you had been,

When we first started,

Two bright-eyed in love kids,

Now I sit,

My fingers tracing your words,

That in any kind of way,

We will never be,

Something so poetic, 

I guess,

Was never meant to be.